Have you ever thought that by failing to respond to someone who has reached out to you, you in effect stopped the action? How fast AND whether you respond at all to those reaching out to you has a great impact and you might not even know it.

I hear it time and time again; the president thinks he/she is being ‘hands off’ and empowering their staff to perform great feats without micromanaging them. The staff of that same president tell me they never know if they are going in the right direction because they never hear back from their leader. So, they make decisions and move the initiatives along; making ‘executive decisions.’ From time to time, the president says,"Why did you do that without checking with me first!!?" Out of respect for their leader (and their job security) the staff does not turn to the president and screen, "I TRIED TO CHECK WITH YOU BUT YOU NEVER RESPOND TO MY EMAILS, OR MY VOICE MAILS AND YOU HATE IT WHEN I COME AND STAND AT YOUR DOOR TO GET YOUR ATTENTION"!

And so the frustration continues. Even if your team is phenomenal and eventually chooses without your input, you slowed the process but making them hesitate out of respect for you. At the very least, hit ‘reply’ and say, “Got it, looks good. Keep up the good work.” Or, “Can you Cliff-note your message? Give me the broad strokes.” Or, “On the road this week, little access to email, leave me a voicemail message on my cell please.” Or, “Back in the office on Friday, let’s talk.” None of these messages take much time but they speak volumes to your team.

And, it’s not just the C-suite who neglect to respond to others. Professionals from all levels can be guilty of sluggish responses.When you do not respond to others with return telephone calls, emails, or sticking your head in someone’s office, you start a cascade effect with anyone involved with those communications. It can go way beyond the person who initially reached out to you. And with the way our business market changes these days, those sales people you are blowing off could potentially be a huge client tomorrow. If you treat them badly, do you really think they will not respond in kind?

Everyone is busier than busy these days, but the bottom line is, if you’re too busy to communicate yourself, get a great assistant and direct them to respond (in your words) for you. But above all, DO RESPOND.

If you’re on the other end, throwing blame at someone who is not responding to you, be sure you’re not ’standing in a glass house, throwing rocks.’ Look to see where you are not responding to others and take on your own ‘Timely Response Challenge’ e.g. your children, the sales people you’re putting off because because you don’t want to tell them you’re not at all interested, a friend who has more time for you than you have for them, an aging parent, your spouse, someone you think is less busy or less important as yourself (No! I know you wouldn’t do that intentionally but when was the last time you actually looked into the eyes of your server, at a restaurant and thanked them for serving you, rather than keeping your head in the menu or stayed on the telephone or talking with the person across the table, while you ordered your meal, somewhat absent-mindedly?)

If you’re a service provider, not responding to clients is the kiss of death for your business. Thinking an answer to a client is not the same as email, telephone or even texting. By not responding on the same day, you’re telling your clients they are just not that important. And, since they are as busy as you are, they may start to look for someone who actually wants to respond to their needs and earn the fees they’re paying. If you’re too busy to respond to them, you must at least send a quick apology message that says, So sorry, tied up with another client, can we speak later? Then you must, must, must put it on YOUR ‘to do’ list to call them back that same day. Even if you are too tired to give them your best, call them back as soon as you can squeeze in for a few minutes and turn on your ‘shine.’

Ideally, you’ll want to find out what type of communication your clients prefer. I have some clients who respond best to the occasional email, some only text messages, and others prefer a telephone call. I do my best to accommodate their preference while still maintaining my own natural rhythms.

We should all also be respectful of our team’s need for work-to-life balance and integration too. Everyone deserves a life outside of the office. If you think of something you’d like to discuss with someone who works for you and it’s after work hours, DO NOT CALL THEM! Feel free to write an email but save it to your drafts file and send it bright and early the next morning, unless you know for certain that the person you’re reaching out to is a ‘night owl’ and gets a second wind at night. You do not have to feel obligated to respond to requests after hours, either. Just remember, if you get in the habit of responding at all hours, you train your colleagues that it is alright to contact you after hours. Again, write your responses and save them to your drafts file. Then set an alarm for the next morning to remind you to send them out. Better yet, turn off your phone and actually experience your children growing up. That blessing will be over in the blink of an eye; if you work through it instead, you just might miss the whole experience!

RECAP:
•    Respond quickly to those who reach out, even if it’s to say, “Can’t do it now,” “Not interested,” Or, “So sorry, tied up with another matter,” etc.

•    If you’re too busy, delegate your thought delivery… a good assistant is worth their weight in gold!

•    Follow up when you say you will or communicate your tardiness apology and re-promise the time you’ll get back to them.

•    Be kind to sales and service people; you may need them one day.

•    Guard your ‘down time’ like a mother bear protecting her cubs.

Did you ever notice that many of us interact with our own thinking as though it’s the only way to think? We get angry when others do not respond as quickly, or kindly, or as slowly as we think they should. I’ve even had one person say to me, "Don’t you have any common sense?" because I disagreed with him. And, we rev up our engines of righteousness when we read between the lines and make up what we think people mean by their half-written email or lack of responses to our reaching out. But if we slow down enough to ask the other person what they mean, nine times out of ten, they got interrupted in writing their response, or had their own reaction to our words, or wanted to call us but didn’t think they had the time necessary for a conversation that would resolve all issues, or their plate is just too full to take on one more thing right now.

Maybe we all need to take a step back and strive for compassion and our own willingness to forgive. Maybe when we truly reach out (even if only energetically) to another person, with a pure intention of relatedness, all other obstacles melt away. All we need to do is think the thought, "this could be resolved and I value the other person enough to make it worth my while to start the conversation" and a mountain will move out of our way!

Don’t think you can say the words yet, but find you really would like to resolve a communication snafu? Then just start by imagining giving the person a flower. That’s it! In your mind’s eye, hand them a flower and continue to intend on having your relationship grow and find a happy medium or better.

It’s December and I’m reflecting the year a bit. I would not call 2009 a bad year by any means but it was a year of upheaval!  Even if there were no challenges to our economy, I challenged many of my own beliefs and methodology. It was a year when I forced myself to change the exact things I knew needed to change, both personally and professionally. I’m now seeing a nutritionist to get this excess weight off (once and for all!) and I’m exercising regularly again. I’m closer to finishing my first book, getting my workshops online and launching tele-seminars and webinars to support my clients in an even more efficient way.

I still feel a bit like a caterpillar, who was transforming into a butterfly, within the confines of a very tight cocoon. While the shifts were very natural and healthy and I am proud to have caused these changes to occur, the process was also sometimes unsettling and uncomfortable. I am ready to rip open my cocoon and fly, even though I am uncertain about how to use my wings yet. In two weeks, the New Year arrives and I’m energetically working to be ready for the launch of everything new.

If you tell the total truth to yourself, what is underneath the transformation that occurred in your life in 2009. Very few people were able to go along with ‘business as usual’! We were all touched by the changes that happened on a global scale. But now is the time for a benchmark; a line of demarcation that says, "This phase is over and we’re moving on to the next phase." Of course, our transformation may be in full swing and you may not feel that this phase is over but take a moment to breath and take in the lessons and blessings of the last twelve months.

Two people riding a roller coaster can have two very different experiences. If they like the rush and excitement, they will love the ride and want to get right back on to repeat the thrill. If, however, they are terrified of falling and don’t like that feeling of their stomach leaping up to their throat, they will hate the ride and be relieved once it’s over. Life is a bit like a roller coaster ride.

You start your day with a long ‘to do’ list and then the phone rings and you have to respond to a client or boss. Then someone comes through your door with an emergency and you shift gears again. You walk back into your office with your mind spinning at everything you know is still waiting for you and you hear the email ding, indicating you have more new email requests. You answer several emails and realize you now have to run off to a meeting. Before you know it, it’s 3 p.m. and you haven’t even checked your list, let alone checked off any completed items. Suggestions:

1. List fewer items on your ‘to do’ list each day. Plan for interruptions. Spread your ‘to do’s’ over a week.

2. When people interrupt your flow, ask yourself if someone else could respond to them instead of you. Better yet, think about whether or not they could really handle their dilemma by themselves with a little guidance.  Off-loading even one action a day will save you some time to focus on that which is most important to you.

3. Clear off your desk and re-prioritize several times each day.

4. When you ask yourself, "What’s next?" check your ‘to do’ list before you check your email or the web.

5. Remember, this too will pass. Eventually you will get a window of free time or, management will change or your responsibilities will shift, etc. Either way, you will eventually have no more reason for angst, so consider surrendering to the ‘way things are’ now and let go of any suffering about it.

You will probably get more done and have more fun… the ride is the same but your results are more satisfying.

As a consultant who specializes in finding space for busy people, I seem to be one of the few people noticing that the space between our sentences in this ‘information age’ has shrunk! Not only are we absorbing more information, now our method for that absorption has become more challenging. With the advent of texting and Twitter, we have decreased the number of printed characters to get our message across quick enough to fit into the confines of the texting format. And, that also means less space between sentences, for our brains to absorb the information. With messages that are as short as 140-160 characters, this lack of space is not such a big deal. We can rather easily consume short bursts of information, with little extra effort. But the practice of single spacing between sentences has become the norm for all writing. So now a lengthy document is a mass of words with very little space to absorb the message. I’ve noticed that I tend to create more paragraphs, when I write, to ease the burden on the reader. And when I’m the reader and I am under greater time constraints or simply have too much on my mind, I don’t even try to read much at all. If I am forced to read during time-constrained moments, I often get a headache or simply tune out the message, in a sort of brain fog. Have you noticed the difference? Like so many changes, this one is subtle. Without a practiced eye, you might not even know it ever happened. As I wrote this post, I used the old-fashioned double spacing between sentences and had two paragraphs.  I was going to ask if it was any easier to read or is the difference too subtle. What I discovered when I published the post, is that Wordpress (and probably most blog sites) uses spread formatting so there is plenty of space between words. I would be interested to know your thoughts regarding other printed material and the lack of space anyway… and your age.  I have a theory that younger readers, with youthful eyes will laugh at this post (or ignore it all together!) but those of us, who have leaped a few age benchmarks, have more experience on this subject and long for more space.

Whether you are a mom trying to find a way to take care of the children more efficiently, a single person looking for companionship, an entrepreneur looking for collaboration and advice, it makes sense to magnetize yourself to a team of people who match your values and stage in life. I have the delight of being on a team of people, who I speak every week to ten days, in support of one another’s goals. Much like a Mastermind group, as recommended by Napoleon Hill in his book Think ‘N Grow Rich, our group follows a format to keep us from simply jabbering for an hour and half. Each person gets 15 minutes to share their successes, goals, challenges and requests and inform the group how they did with the previous week’s goals. Then we open call for 30 minutes to discuss specific ideas more deeply. It’s not rocket science but it sure feels like it sometimes! There is nothing like a good sounding board to help energize the day! If you are feeling alone, find some like minded souls to create with. You will be thrilled you did. Think you don’t know any? Just put the thought out that you would like to find your perfect partners, be willing to let them in, make a request, when they do and you will be amazed who shows up and how powerful the partnership can be.

I have a wonderful 89-year-young uncle named Vern. Actually he is my second cousin but when a person is nearly 40 years older than another, it just seems right to call them aunt or uncle. Anyway, here is his Saturday blog from today and my response to him:
Folks, it’s March 1st allready! And yesterday was leap year, February 29th. How time flies..

This morning early I was roaming around in this great little book "The Intellectual Devotional" that I have come to love.You remember I have talked so much about this little gem, given me by Rebecca and Paul for Christmas. I will be through it in about another month although it’s designed to read a page a day for 365 days, but I’m too impatient.

Now that I’m to a point where I buy ripe bananas, and eat desert first, how do I even know I will be around 365 days from now? Well, I have no plans to the contrary.

Anyhow, under visual arts I picked up a page on Van Gogh’s "Starry Night". He painted this on the evening of June 19th, 1889. He was living in an asylum at the time.. The painting is 29 by 36 inches and now hangs permanently in the Museum of Modern Art in New York. One of my favorite museums, which is the permanent home of my favorite American painting, Andrew Wyeths "Christiana’s World, painted in 1948.

I guess everyone remembers Starry Night, one of Van Goghs best known paintings.The painting generally is believed to be his outpouring of his greatly troubled emotional state at the time.

The other day, in writers group we were talking about "audiences", in other words, who do we write for? Serious writers always have an audience they are or are attempting to write for. Well, this troubles me, because I really don’t know who I write for. In this pleasant little task which occupies a part of my Saturday mornings, I am obviously writing for and to my "family", which now is a list of about 30 names. Yippy, I have an "audience". But in everything else, I don’t know who I write for. I guess any one who is dumb enough to waste their time reading these little efforts on my part. Now, over 300 such little efforts, plus a family history. All I know is that I have had a tremendous lot of fun putting this together. I write mostly, I guess because I believe I have something I want to say and that in itself is enough.

At this present time I am sharing with the writing group something that has been of tremendous interest to me, The 70 years and thousands of people it took to publish the Oxford English Dictionary, first edition published in 1928. This ties in well with something I did back in 1966 under the title of "The writings of Mortimor Adler" and the Encyclopedia Britannica which he served as editor in the last half of the 20th Century. Both of these ended up around twenty pages. Mortimor Adler was a fascinating guy. He published 20 of his 60 books after he was 80 years old.

Holy Cats, talk about being carried away on favorite subjects. WOW! Oh well, thanks for listening but it’s time to quit or I won’t have anything to talk about next week.

Do any of you have any birthdays or anniversaries in March? I don’t find a single one and it’s a little early to talk about April…

Well, take care of yourselves. Be happy, healthy and in love. The best formula for life! Love from Gramps, great gramps, POP along with my constant companion, Nancy Lee.

Dear Vern,

Most Saturdays, I am happy to simply read your message with my heart wide open for a man I admire; a man who believes in staying connected the people he loves, a man who is my 90-year-young father’s favorite cousin and dear friend, a man who clearly wants to make a positive difference for the entire time he is on this planet, a man who is humble and loving and kind and intelligent, a man who stays connected to the beauty of our world through his appreciation of art, a man who stretches his comfort zone by being a part of a writing group in his late 80’s, a man who is living life in his 80’s with an aliveness and connectedness not found in many men half his age, a man who always tries to be the best husband, father, uncle, cousin, friend he can be and a man who never forgets his connection to God… do you get that I am speaking about you Vern?

Your audience is all of us who have the privilege of being graced by you in this life. And, if you publish your writings, which, in my humble opinion, I think you should, your audience will grow to those who want to expand and stretch themselves and tap into your wisdom. Please do not dis-empower yourself by saying "But in everything else, I don’t know who I write for. I guess any one who is dumb enough to waste their time reading these little efforts on my part. " You have a gift and you are a gift!!! Continue your writing and publish your words of wisdom with the interpretation of those of us who love and respect you.

As a reminder, I am send you a copy of Marianne Williamson quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of

God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously

give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

Not being a scientist I should probably not call my interpretation of time management challenges, quantum time but many days it feels like time is flitting by like time travel in a science fiction movie. To cope with the challenges of quantum time, I have changed my measurement for success of any given day. Rather than reviewing my "to do" list, I think about the movement I have made toward the completion of any of my goals. In some cases, the goal may be an unwritten desire to enrich my relationships with people I love. In these cases, it is sometimes necessary to unplug from our cultural need to measure success by the almighty dollar. Not to worry, tomorrow my work-a-holism will probably kick back in and I will be focused on the target as always. In fact, I just may start a work project after the 10 p.m. news tonight!

Greetings! I feel a little like a kid in a candy store! My goal in life is to make the biggest difference while I am here and this medium gives me the chance to add messages anytime I choose. I believe there are people who create space and others who just suck the space. I intend to be someone who creates space. I applaud others who have obviously dedicated their lives to making a positive difference, like Oprah, Jack Canfield and Napoleon Hill, to name a few who play (or played) life in the "big league!" Jack Canfield is one of my favorite people. He is so connected and authentic. Whether I am reading one of his books, listening to an audio of his material and shaking his hand, in person, he comes across as genuinely interested in who I am, how he can touch my life and how I might touch his in some positive way. As the Aussies say, "Good on ya, Jack!" I may never be as successful as Jack Canfield but I can certainly aspire to make the biggest difference in every life I touch! Thanks for the inspiration!

I was having a particularly challenging moment this morning. I do not have them often but when I do, like anyone else, I feel sad (sometimes to the point of having a good cry). I feel sorry for myself and feel completely stopped regarding how to solve the problem and get on with my life. Luckily, my moment hit while I was on a call with a member of my advisory board. This woman is a trusted colleague and friend who knows how to listen powerfully and provide me the space I need to work through a challenge. She said, "There are only so many times we can brush things under the carpet, until we can no longer walk on the carpet because it is too lumpy!" What a great analogy! Imagine all those negative experiences having shape and form and trying to walk over them, like a moving blob of disruption. She also reminded me that emotional challenges which are of the highest priority to us, when stifled or ignored for long periods of time, help us to manifest physical ailments in our body that represent the stifling… like fat, aches & pains and God forbid, cancer. What a wake-up call! The second I made the decision to live my fullest, healthiest life and conquer my challenge, my trusted colleague also came up with the perfect resource for me to call next. Commit to the change and mountains move to get out of your way!